Have you ever been out on a weekend night and spent a decent amount of time throwing glances over your shoulder? Or making sure you have the seat that faces the door so you can see everyone coming in? Or you feel like you need to find a fire hydrant nearby and mark the territory so undesirable acquaintances do not show? This my friends, is what I like to call Bar Wars, Episodes 1, 2, and 3. While sometimes you look forward to a certain someone showing up, in this particular case I speak of the terror you feel when you are out at a place where you used to go all the time with someone you once dated. When things end, you almost need a custody agreement of who gets to go where when, or you both must suffer through the awkwardness of seeing each other out all the time. So I will tell you the story of two girls.
It began during the summer. Two girls, Desdemona and Ophelia, who had never met, were dating two guys, Othello and Hamlet. Othello and Hamlet were such good friends they could have been brothers. They introduced Juliet and Ophelia, who clicked, and the foursome enjoyed many a fun night out in the various areas where they lived. Then, one dark and dreary night, one of the couples ended their relationship. Hamlet and Ophelia were no more. A painful issue for Ophelia was that technically the custody of the friendship with the other couple should pass to Hamlet, being that he was friends with the other parties first, and best friends with Othello long before the girls even entered the scene. Nonetheless, the girls determined to remain friends.
They met fairly frequently over the next few months for happy hours, wine, and shopping, but on occasion, the boys would show up and it would cause a commotion. Obviously, it was completely normal for Othello to show up because he and Desdemona were together. And it was perfectly natural for Hamlet to accompany Othello given that they were practically brothers. But this was always a sticking point for Ophelia, because she could not claim any turf as her own. There was nowhere she and Desdemona could go that would be completely risk-free of Hamlet showing up. But Ophelia persevered, and time went on.
As time goes on, things change, and eventually Desdemona and Othello severed their ties as well. So of course, when ties are severed, wine must be imbibed and friends must meet to discuss the event. So it goes with Desdemona and Ophelia. When they did meet, they met at one of their most favorite places in the southern part of the province. This was a place frequented by the couples when they were together. Now Ophelia lived quite close to it, and Desdemona worked nearby, so it was a convenient meeting spot as well as a lovely venue.
During the pow-wow, Ophelia noticed that Desdemona kept throwing glances over her shoulder, and was in a nervous frame of mind. Ophelia, recognizing the gestures, then informed her that there was no way Othello or Hamlet would possibly show their faces. "How could they?" said Ophelia. "I live here, you work nearby. Essentially if the boys showed up they would be guaranteed to see us." Because neither boy lived, worked, or had family nearby they lost their claim on the southern realm. And if they did show up, it would be an obvious affront and invasion. Or a deliberate attempt to see one of the girls and incite rage.
And so the story goes that the boys never showed their faces in that land again, in fact a verbal concession/surrender of the land was made to Desdemona by Othello, and the girls vowed never to enter the lands inhabited by the boys either.
The point of this story: there are many things that constitute turf. But the main players are who lives closest, who works closest, who knows local people better, who goes there more often, and who you are with that makes it more socially graceful for one person or another to show up. We have all been there when someone comes to a night out and are not uninvited but almost worse...unexpected. Yes this is America, we are a free country and you can go wherever you want. But along those same lines, because it is America, there are probably about 856 other places you can go to get the same experience without having to run into people and make it awkward. Sometimes you have to take one for the team and find a new venue (though a little social pot-stirring on Friday tends to make good brunch convo on Saturday).
So wherever you find yourself this weekend, enjoy the company and the time, even if it does stir the social pot. What's life without a little bar wars anyway? Besides, if you find you are really worried about keeping your turf safe, you can always stake the ultimate claim and move in across the street from the main street of town (who would do that?). Anyway, It's supposed to be a BEAUTIFUL weekend so wherever you are, hopefully your turf will include some surf! Happy Friday!
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